He's a Boy!!!

When I gave birth to my son everyone told be to be prepared because boys are a handful and that they are hardheaded.  They said to be prepared to spend a lot of time in the emergency room because boys are adventurous daredevils.  They said that I'll find him hanging out of windows and jumping off garages.  They also said that I should be prepared for him to be destructive because that's how boys are.  I didn't pay any of that any attention.

I was going to have a good boy and not have any of those problems.  It didn't exactly turn out the way I thought it would.  Turns out, everything I was told about raising a boy was true. My son is 11 now and over the years there has been a lot of destruction (some accidental some on purpose), a few trips to the ER (one this week in fact) and he is VERY hardheaded.  I thought the hardheadedness was him be disrespectful toward me but it's not.  Boys learn by trial and error.  I can tell my son not to do something and he will do it anyway because he wants to see what will happen for himself even if that means he gets hurt or something gets broken.  The consequences never fit into the equation so he seldom thinks before he acts.  This has been more true over the last  two weeks than it ever has. The following is a list of what has gone wrong simply because he didn't listen to me.

1. His TV fell off the dresser because he kept jumping around in his room after I told him repeatedly to stop.  The TV didn't work the rest on the day. My son's response "you can just buy me another one".
2. A broken window in his room because he insisted on having the rocking chair in front of the window after I told him to to put it back in the corner.  He was actually shocked that the window broke. All I could say was "I told you so".
3. A broken dresser drawer because he put ALL of the rocks he collected from the beach in the drawer after I specifically told him not to.  His response was "I didn't think the rocks were that heavy".  
4. A broken bed because he decided to move his bed.  Now all the bolts that hold the bed frame together are loose and pulled out a little. Mind you it's a sleigh bed and it's not on wheels.
5. Small slits in the couch because he wasn't paying attention when his pet rabbit jumped up on the couch and clawed the couch. I have repeatedly told him to watch the rabbit and not to let him get on the furniture.
6. Stitches in his thumb and finger because he accidentally cut himself with a flat head screwdriver trying to take apart a toy.  I didn't find out that he hurt himself until 3 hours later.  His response "it didn't hurt that bad".  He knows that he is not allowed to use my tools without permission.  

When I told people about all the mishaps I've had with my son recently the only response I got was "well he's a boy". If someone tells me that one more time, I'M GOING TO SCREAM.!!!   So I'm just supposed to sit back and expect things like this to happen????  I think if he just listened to me we could avoid a lot of this mess.  I guess he will continue to learn the hard way and will continue to fix the things he breaks and drive him to the emergency room when he hurts himself because I am a mother.

Life With Daddy

When I was a little girl my Daddy did my hair in the morning because my Mom worked third shift and wasn't home in the morning.  Truth be told, he did a better job than mother.  My Dad cooked me breakfast every morning to make sure my day started out right.  He would be up before the sun making eggs, sausage, bacon, grits, cream of wheat, or oatmeal with raisins.  There was no such thing as eating cold cereal for breakfast except on Saturdays.

When I got a little older my Dad taught me how to use tools and fix things because he didn't want me to always depend on man when things got broken.  His daughter was never going to be a damsel in distress. Because of Daddy I know the difference between a flat head and Phillips head screwdriver.  I know how to use a socket wrench and a hand saw.  Daddy showed me how to use a stud finder and level is so I could hang pictures on the wall and they won't be crooked.   Because of my Dad I knew how to change the belts and spark plugs, check all the fluids in the car and how to change a flat tire long before I knew how to drive.  Daddy even taught me how fish. I could always cast a line better than Daddy and I always caught more fish than he did.

When I was a teenager I thought Daddy was crazy because he would never let me go anywhere by myself except school.  If a boy even looked in my direction, Daddy would give him the "I'll kill you and go have coffee" look.  It used to make me so angry.  I remember when Daddy jumped out of the car with a bat when he picked me up from school because he saw a boy  was hugging me.  That let every other boy know that I was off limits.  In that moment I knew Daddy wasn't wrapped tight.  When I was a freshman in high school, a senior asked me to go to homecoming with him.  I respectfully declined because I knew Daddy would say no and possibly kill me for even talking to a boy that much older than me. I envisioned Daddy getting his shotgun when he saw this boy pull up in front the house to pick up his 13 year old daughter.  I also knew that my mother would cosign on that no and would be handing Daddy the shotgun shells.  I later understood that all crazy behavior was his way of protecting me.

The most important lesson my father taught me was what a gentleman is.  He taught me what a gentleman is by treating my mother like a lady.  He he told me "how I treat your mother is how I should expect a man to treat me".  Daddy had to remind of this lesson when I started dating.  I thought my boyfriend at the time was treating like I was helpless.  Daddy told me that my boyfriend was being chivalrous and treating me like a lady when he opened doors for me, pulled out my chair when I sat down, insisted on paying for everything when we went out, and came to the door instead of blowing the horn for me to come out.  Daddy taught me that when a man gives me a single red rose it means that he loves me and has chosen me to be his.  He told me that a single red rose means so much more than getting a whole dozen.  I strayed from that lesson and got hurt a lot in relationships.  I'm getting back to what he taught me about men and I'm making better choices when it comes to being in relationships.  

When my father was teaching me all of these things I didn't appreciate it at the time.  I do now though.  I know that I would be lost in this world if I didn't have my Daddy.  If you are a father of a daughter your relationship with her is so important and should never be taken for granted.  Daughters need their father as much as their sons do. 

A Return to the Fun Me

Last night, Friday, I was home and in the bed by 10:30.  My son had gone to bed already and was sound asleep.  The house oddly quiet.  I was bored and restless.  Nothing was holding my attention except writing this blog and Antiques Roadshow.

It wasn't that long ago that at this time of night I would I would be putting on my jet black stockings, my little black dress and my favorite black high heels for a night out with friends and sometimes by myself.  What happened to all that?  When did I become a fuddy duddy?  When did going to bed become the highlight of my day?  Did I get get old, boring or both?  That's a horrifying thought considering I'm only 41.

I'm remembering a time when my favorite person to hang out with was me.  I really used to enjoy my own company.  Not that I don't enjoy the company of others.  If my friends were busy or just didn't want to go out, I wasn't about to sit at home and twiddle my thumbs.  So, I would take myself to the movies, dinner, concerts and go on day trips. I even bought myself flowers every week.  When did I stop enjoying spending time with me?  When did I start neglecting me and why didn't I notice?

It's time to show me a some attention.  So, I will start taking myself out on a regular basis and start doing the things I enjoy again.  I will take the time to get reacquainted with myself and have some new experiences.  Along the way I may meet some new people and build new friendships. I think I'll start next weekend. Maybe I'll see you where ever I end up going.

These are my new favorite high heeled shoes.

This will be my new little black dress

Not Seeing Is Believing

So, I'm almost 42, never been married, and a single parent.  People who know me and know me well, don't understand why I'm still single.  Frankly, neither do I.  After all, I'm intelligent, kindhearted, devoted, loving, etc.  With all of that going for me I should be at least 10 years into a marriage.  According to some unsupported statistics, I have a better chance of being killed by a terrorist than  getting married at my age.  I disagree.

I used to think that there was something wrong with me when relationships didn't work out.  Then I came to realize that there was nothing wrong with me or the men I was in relationships with.  We just simply came into each others lives for a reason and a season and to learn a lesson from the experience.

I believe that I will get married one day, just not on my time table.  I believe in God and that He has a plan for me concerning marriage.  The Bible Says: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future-Jeremiah 29:11.  My hope is that there is a husband in my future. I also have faith in God's plan for me concerning my future husband.  According to Hebrews 11:1 faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.  

Because I have faith, I know that I will get married and have an amazing marriage with my husband.  Out of that faith, I have already planned my wedding and keep those plans in a binder.  My vows are written. I know what kind of dress I want to wear.  I know what song I will walk down the isle to.  I have sketched my wedding cake.  I will be prepared when he (whoever he is) asks me to be his wife.  Most importantly, I see my life the day after I say my vows. The day after my wedding I see myself loving and submitting to my husband. I see myself doing all the things that make him happy and in love with me. I see my husband loving me, cherishing me, providing for me and leading our marriage.  I can see all of this because I walk by faith not by sight.

I have a question for you if you have doubts that you'll get married.  Where is your faith?