Do You Know Who You Are?

A couple of years ago a potential mate asked me "Who are you?".  He told me to answer the question without using the words mother, sister, friend, daughter or saying what I did for a living.  I couldn't answer the question because I had wrapped my life around these roles.  I had forgotten who I was without all of that.  I had become who and what other people expected me to be at the expense of who I really am.  I didn't know how to think or feel about anything.

Since that time, I have been rediscovering who I am.  I have started doing thing I used to enjoy again and finding new things to enjoy as well.    I now express my opinions.  I no longer agree just to agree or just to get along.  I am no longer overly concerned with what people think of me.  I don't allow what people think of me to impact my thoughts, attitude or behavior.  I will ask for input from others, but ultimately the decision will be mine.

On this road to self discovery I'm sure there will be people will be unhappy with me, say that I've changed, will be judgmental or criticize.  That's their issue not mine.  The ultimate goal is for me to find out who I am, what I want and to embrace it.  To just be ME without fear, quilt, shame or regret.

^^^^^^^ This sums up my point.^^^^^^^

So, now I'm asking you, yes you, the person reading this blog at this very moment, "Who are you?".  If you know who you are that's great.  If you don't know or aren't sure, then It's time to find out.  Life is too short.
If you are looking for a place where you fully express yourself and just be you check out Cullen's Corner Hot Topics at cullenscorner.com and join the site.  Membership is free.  Joining this site has helped me tremendously with my journey to self discovery.  On cullenscorner.com you can write your own blog and be part of the discussions posted there among other things.  For example you could participate in upcoming webinars happening September through January covering the topics of self discovery, financial planning, gratitude, and personal spirit.

I hope to see you there.

Fifty Shades of Its Been Done Before

When I first heard about Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy I didn't understand what the big deal was about.  After all, erotic literature has been around for centuries.  It dates back to ancient Greece and Rome. There is even erotica in the Bible in the book Song of Songs. It's nothing new. So why all the fuss now?

 

 

Being that erotic literature is one of my favorite genres, I had to read the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy.  I had heard all the buzz about the bondage, domination, sadism, masochism (BDSM) theme in the books.  Again this is nothing new. For example The Story of O (1975) has a very strong BDSM story line.

 
I am a very open minded person, but the BDSM story line made me nervous.  Being that I am a psychotherapist, the psychology of BDSM was also intriguing to me. BDSM is a subject that I didn't understand and had a lot of preconceived notions about.  In order to read the books I had to do some research and educate myself on BDSM.  Any time I don't understand something I research it instead of judging it.  I learned a lot about the BDSM and have a better understanding of  that world.    I will leave you to do your own research on the subject. Wikipedia is a good place to start.

These two really need to get to know each other and learn how to get along.

In reading the trilogy I particularly enjoyed the Anastasia Steel character in the books because of  the way her subconscious and inner goddess played a part in the story line.  Reading the books helped me get in touch with my own subconscious and inner goddess and how these two sides of my personality impact my behavior. It was a different take on the devil and the angel on the shoulder theme. 





In the second book I liked how the story gave some information about his biological mother and how it ties into his involvement with BDSM.  It made me wonder if people who engage in BDSM have also had abuse histories as children that caused them to gravitate toward this lifestyle.



I particularly enjoyed the the third book in the trilogy because it had a happy ending that I didn't think it would have.  It was a testimony of how a person can have terrible past and can still have happiness in their future.

In reading the books I realized that the story was not about BDSM at all.  It was a story about love, acceptance and compromise within a relationship and how these elements are key to the success of any relationship. If readers focus on the the BSDM elements then they have in my opinion missed the whole point of the story.